Dj-Wife-i
by instantwaffles
Summary: Alya Césaire, director of the Ladyblog, Marinette fearless headstrong best-friend, and leader of Paris's largest Miraculous Ladybug fan-club, was having boy troubles. Upon hearing this, Marinette planned an emergency girls' night complete with swearing boys off entirely. Miraculously, fate had a different plan... (a warped "13 going on 30" AU. Rated for mentions of adult things.)
1. Chapter 1

**(A/N: I posted this to tumblr a while ago but it took me forever to post it here. Chapter two will be up…. Eventually. Follow me on tumblr and shout at me instantwaffles! Please. Enjoy the story!)**

"...so, that's it?" Marinette asked for the thousandth time.

"That's it! That's all that happened!" Alya cried, exasperated.

"He just... gave you a fist bump and called you dude?" Marinette said, her frown growing, "After all of that shameless flirting?"

Alya groaned and nodded. In truth, it hadn't been shameless. Even Alya, who was known for her forwardness, had limits on how many innuendos she could slip into conversations without feeling a little embarrassed. And she had definitely pushed that limit.

"Wow... I just... didn't know anyone could be that oblivious." Marinette stressed, furrowing her eyebrows together.

Alya just made guttural noises of anger as she flailed her arms. Marinette patted her friends head. Alya was lying face down in Marinette's comforter as she had been since Marinette had called the emergency sleepover.

"How about this," Marinette started, lightly stroking her friend's soft hair, "we swear off boys forever, become crazy hamster ladies, and watch some crazily overdone action movie?"

Alya lifted her chin to rest on the bed instead of her face and looked up at Marinette.

"Do I have to move?" She asked grumpily.

Marinette giggled and shook her head. She climbed down her ladder and grabbed the snacks she had brought up earlier, a small portable dvd player, and a rented copy of the latest movie from 'The Rushed and the Raging' franchise, 'Raging 7'. Clambering back up the stairs with her arms full she set everything up and gently nudged Alya to get her to scoot over.

"But you said I didn't have to move." Alya groaned out indignantly as she wiggled to make room.

Marinette rolled her eyes affectionately and plopped down on the bed, starting up the movie and reaching for the pretzel sticks at the same time.

Alya let out an exhausted sigh. The end titles were rolling and Marinette was snoring softly as she had been for the past 45 minutes. Alya stretched out her arms, shut off the dvd player, and safely placed it on the shelf by Marinette's bed. She gathered up the snacks and placed them on the floor by the bed, too tired to actually get up and put them away properly. She wrestled some of the comforter away from the sleeping Marinette and covered herself as best she could without stealing all of her friend's warmth, snuggling down, assuming that she would fall asleep quickly.

Alya soon found herself starring up at the night sky through her friend's glass trap door. As drained as she was, sleep wasn't coming willingly. Moaning, Alya rubbed her hands over her face and tried not to think too much about the so called 'date' Nino and she had earlier that week. It had gone terribly.

Alya shivered as the end of the 'date' ran, unbidden, through her mind. She had worked so hard to set it up for Nino to kiss her before she went inside. But what happened?

"Dude, I had so much fun. We'll have to do this again."

Nino raise his fist for her to bump.

Alya cringed at the awkward end. She sighed at the starless night sky above her.

'Maybe it just isn't meant to be,' She thought to herself, turning on her side to get more comfortable, 'I just wish there was some way to know what the future holds.'

Alya closed her eyes and relaxed, eventually falling asleep. Next to her, her best friend's earrings sparked red for half a second before once again returning to shiny black.

"...ya... Allllyaaaaa..." A deep voice drew her from her sleep.

"Wha... Marinette?" She groaned, attempting to pry open her sleep heavy eyes.

"Well, I'd hope not." The voice chuckled.

The smell of warm croissants and strong coffee reached Alya as she blinked up at the distinct male outline. She groped around beside her until she found her glasses and shoved them on her face. The outline slowly came into focus and Alya's confusion grew.

Nino grinned down at her, shirtless and holding a tray of breakfast.

"Good morning, sleepy head. How did you sleep? First night as a married woman, was it everything you ever dreamed of?" He asked innocently, smiling as he moved to set the tray down on the dresser next to her.

Alya scrunched her eyebrows together and looked around the room, confused and trying her hardest to concentrate. The room was fancy, mainly red with outlines of gold. Everything was plush and high-end. She groggily rubbed her eyes and looked back up at Nino. He looked older. His jaw was more angular, his body was more muscular, and he had to be at least a foot taller. But there was no doubt in Alya's mind, it was definitely Nino. Those eyes gave it away. He raised his eyebrows, still waiting for her answer.

"Did you... did you say married?" She asked, her voice hoarse.

"Well, yeah. I mean we did get married yesterday," Nino replied, concerned that she didn't seem to remember, "Alya? Are you feeling alright?"

" I got married yesterday!?" She shrieked, sitting upright so quickly you might think her pillow was on fire.

The blankets that had been pulled up to her chin fell back and for the first time since waking up, Alya realized, she wasn't wearing any clothes. With a indignant yelp, she yanked the blankets back over her chest. Nino, who still looked slightly stunned, cracked a small smile.

"It's a little late to be modest now. Last night kind of threw that out the window." He joked.

Alya was petrified. She sat perfectly still, eyes blown wide. Nino's small smile fell and he sat down on the end of the hotel bed. Alya's eyes snapped to him and she flinched away slightly.

"Alya? Did you hit your head?" Nino asked, worry dripping off his voice, "Should I call someone? What's wrong?"

He reached out and placed his hand on the side of her face. Alya seemed to yank herself out of whatever daze she was in.

"I-I can't be married!" She declared, "I'm only 18. Yesterday... yesterday I was at Marinette's house."

"Alya, we got married yesterday. You're 24."


	2. Chapter 2

**(A/N: Chapter two! Chapter three is gonna take a while. School is stress. Come yell at me on tumblr instantwaffles. Thanks for reading!)**

"I'm eighteen."

"You're twenty-four."

"Eighteen."

"Twenty-four."

Alya groaned and rested her face in her hands. They had been going back and forth like that for fifteen minutes. Nino sighed, still concerned, and grabbed a croissant.

"Here. Eat something." He held the croissant out to her.

Alya took it with a muttered 'thanks.' She started eating, holding the bed sheets to her torso with one hand and her food in the other. Nino picked up a croissant for himself and they both sat eating in silence.

"Listen. I know I sound crazy but yesterday I was eighteen and spending the night at Marinette's house." Alya said as soon as she finished eating, "The day before yesterday was our first date. I can't be married."

Nino paused mid-chew.

"Our first date?" He asked.

"Yeah..." Alya started, "when we went to fair? You walked me home? And fist-bumped me?"

"T-that was a date?" Nino coughed, half choking on his breakfast.

Alya nodded slowly and Nino grimaced.

"I had no idea," He admitted, "When you asked me to go to the fair, I thought you meant as friends. If I had known it was a date, I probably would have stressed about it a lot more. As it was, I memorized about 50 conversation starters."

Alya barked out a bitter sounding laugh and shook her head. Nino smiled softly and rested his hand on her knee.

"So... you're eighteen and you don't remember any of the last six years?" Nino asked after a few minutes, his smile turning to a frown.

"Yeah. It seems so." Alya replied, looking down at the bed spread with deep concentration.

"Hm. Well, I'll go hide in the bathroom so you can get dressed. Married or not, I'm not going to make you uncomfortable if I can help it." Nino said, standing up and strolling to the bathroom. He closed the door behind him and there was a click of the lock.

"Tell me when you're done!" His voice was muffled by the door.

Alya didn't reply and instead got out of the bed. She could tell she was older but she didn't linger too much on that thought before opening a black suitcase that was resting on a nearby love-seat and pulling out clothing. The first thing she come upon was an adorable yellow and white sundress that complimented her skin tone. Before putting it on, she noticed in place of a tag was a beautifully stitched 'M'. She grinned.

'Marinette really outdid herself.' Alya thought to herself, and tugged the dress on.

"Okay! I'm done!" Alya called to Nino.

Nino opened the bathroom door and came out, now wearing a T-shirt.

"Alright. So, what are we going to do about you being eighteen?" He asked, running his eyes over her dress quickly before focusing on her face.

"I don't know. I don't even know why this happened. I was just at Marinette's house." Alya said, shrugging.

"Well, did anything happen while you were there? Anything weird?"

"No... I don't think so. The last thing I remember was thinking about our date and... Oh..." Alya finished quietly.

"Oh what?" Nino asked, raising an eyebrow.

"No. It doesn't make any sense... I mean... none of this makes sense but that really doesn't make sense." Alya muttered.

"Hey. Just tell me. It's okay if it doesn't make sense." Nino said softly. He reached out and laid a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"Well..." Alya started, still looking unsure, "Last night, at Marinette's house, right before falling asleep, I wished that I knew what would happen between us."

"So, this is like the universe's response? Showing you the day after our marriage? Isn't that like cheating?" Nino asked, smiling awkwardly and obviously trying to lighten the mood.

"I guess... I mean I definitely feel better. About us that is. This whole situation still confuses me but I'm glad that you're here. And I'm glad that we're married." Alya replied honestly, smiling weakly.

Nino grinned and opened his mouth to say something but a loud crash interrupted him. There was a slow whirring sound and the lights in the room shut off, one by one with small pings of electricity.

"Oh boy." Nino groaned.

"Uh... let me guess... akuma?" Alya asked.

Nino nodded and then realized she couldn't see him.

"Yeah... This should be fun." He sighed.

He pulled his phone out of his pocket and turned on the flashlight to shine on Alya. She flinched slightly at the sudden brightness but still looked like she was vibrating with excitement.

"Are you ready to go, Volpina?" Nino asked with a grin, as a loud bang followed by screaming sounded from outside. Alya stopped jittering.

"Volpina? Isn't that the akuma that tricked Ladybug and Chat Noir into thinking she was a superhero?" Alya scrunched up her eyebrows, excitement washed away by confusion.

Even in the dim light, Alya could see Nino visibly pale. A voice, obviously the akuma's, shouted something unintelligible.

"You don't know what I'm talking about." Nino stated more than asked.

"Uh. No, no I don't."

"Oh..." Was all Nino said before nervously shuffling his feet and quickly striding over to the window shielded by a curtain. He pulled back the curtain to let in sunlight. The fight going on seemed to be about 2 blocks away, judging by the smoke.

"I-" He paused and looked back at her before looking at his feet, "I guess, if you really are only eighteen, you wouldn't know much about Volpina."

"I know plenty about her. She was an

akuma and one of the more cunning

ones at that." She retorted, crossing her arms and frowning.

"No, she isn't just an akuma," Nino sighed, "I guess this explains how you already knew my identity when we got our miraculous..."

"Your identity? Our miraculous?" Alya asked with a disbelieving tone, uncrossing her arms and unconsciously leaning forward.

"Yes, and I don't have time to explain," Nino said as he glanced outside to the battle which seemed to be getting closer, "just trust me. Trixx! Wayzz!"

Two blurs, one orange the other green, flew to Nino's open palms from across the room. He looked up at Alya and crossed the short distance between them to stand in front of her.

"I need you to trust me." He said seriously as the orange creature offered him a necklace.

"Here put this on." Nino tossed her the necklace.

She caught it and studied the amulet for a minute. It was a fox tail. Alya shrugged to herself and clipped the chain together behind her neck.

"Okay. Now say 'transform me.'" Nino instructed.

"Transform me? What does that even" Alya started before she was cut off by a bright orange light and a crackling sound complete with a tingling sensation.

Seconds later, Volpina was standing in place of Alya. Nino grinned as Alya's eyes bugged out and she stood as if she was afraid to move, with her arms held out and away from her body.

"Time to kick some villainous butt. Transform me!" Nino called.

Alya watched as her boyfr... husband was engulfed in a deep green light. As the light faded and a turtle themed superhero appeared, Alya's breathing became ragged.

"Alright. Let's go."


End file.
